I have to record for digital posterity one night of excellent, wholesome fun, that I am so happy to have been a part of, here in Minneapolis.

Last Friday night was the premier record release show for local band Brother & Sister (actual sibling guitar/drums duo). But this was not just any old record release show; it was a city-wide scavenger hunt to find the venue where they were playing! A limited number of one hundred people had to sign up in advance. The band placed everyone onto teams, and sent out an email the day before, giving the secret location to meet for the scavenger hunt. The majority of participants belonged to a network of friends centered around the band, so this enhanced the fun and rivalry quite a bit.

The email included this list of what to bring: “A FLASH LIGHT, a Tape Measure, a piece of chalk, Gloves, a bathing suit and towel, IF YOU HAVE NOT YET e-mailed me your shoe size, DO IT TODAY!!!!! A pen (blue or red) or pencil, a cell phone, calling card, or quarters, to make phone call(s), a backpack, a photo ID, possibly a calculator, optional a cd player.”

Needless to say, we were all very intrigued and excited about what was in store for us.

My team included two of my friends, R and N, and three other people whom we had never met before. The meeting place was a cul de sac on the edge of Van Cleve Park near Dinkytown at 17:30. Once everyone was gathered, we met our teammates (very gung-ho young men), and all were handed manila folders (stamped CONFIDENTIAL) by a man with long hair and a homemade Anthrax jean jacket. Inside the folder were missing-persons reports on Brother and Sister, with photos of each, and a "clue workbook."

Then the Anthrax dude shouted, "The first clue is up on the bridge!" and pointed to the nearby metal walkway going over the tracks. The whole crowd of people ran up there to find (#1) a professionally-printed banner with a verse on it, instructing us to copy down every third letter for the next clue. This told us to look at the back of the City Pages for an "I saw you" ad.

None of our team had one, so we sped off in our two carloads to nearby Joe's Market on Como. The ad in question I had read earlier that week and had thought it amusing. It said, (#2) "I saw you on the bridge. Let's do laundry at the Tub Coin-Op. You wash, I'll fold." We had to dial 411 to find the place, and it was in nearby Dinkytown!

Sitting in the laundromat, reading a newspaper, was Jon from Knifeworld! I asked if he had a clue for us, and all he said was, "Check it out," and gestured toward the machines. We looked all around until we found a dryer with a piece of paper that said BROTHER AND SISTER on it. Inside were (#3) T-shirts, each with a one-month calendar drawn on it with puffy paint. Within each day's square was written the word PEOPLE. The answer: Everyday People! A boutique a block away.

N & I ran there. Sho (of Sweet J.A.P.) was working, and the other employee handed us a sealed envelope. We ran back to our team and opened it to find (#4) a computer-generated image of a bridge spanning between two piggy banks. Along the top of the bridge was a ruler, and above this, a huge letter T with people washing it. At a point toward the left side of the ruler was a red X, and at the bottom of the page it said, "X marks the spot." At the top of the page was a compass, with the top at north, etc.

Wow. This had us all puzzled for a few moments until our mustachioed team leader declared, "I know exactly where this is!" And we followed him to a spot above the river overlooking a footbridge which he thought it was because of the shape. I had to point out that the picture was just meant to be an abstract bridge, which was going between two "banks," ie. the east and west banks of the U of M campus! And with the people "washing the T," the Washington Avenue bridge made more sense.

This clue really did us in. Three of us sprinted to the bridge, and I almost puked because I'm not used to sprinting. We searched inside the covered walkway, and on each side but found nothing. I thought it might have to do with the tree that's all covered with hanging shoes, because it seemed to be in the right spot for the X, so our leader climbed all the way down to the River Road! But he found nothing. Then I said, "Look, those two sidewalks form an X!" So we ran over and investigated and found nothing.

I knew we were looking too hard, that the answer lay right under our noses. As we ran another sweep of the bridge, I saw a huge message trampled in the snow down by the river, visible from the bridge! The snow was scant and melting, but this is what I could make out and wrote on my hand: OOMPA FLIP A RATMAN YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. We ran back to the others.

After calling the tip line to complain that the snow was melting, we learned that the next clue was a yellow flyer we had to pick up on the bridge! The snow message had nothing to do with this hunt! The flyer (#5) said, "Difficult multiplication." N had the answer: Hard Times cafe!

By this time we were way behind. At Hard Times, Erin Flavin met us at the door and basically told us where to go next: (#6) the Triple Rock bar. This would have been the part where we needed the tape measure, to do a Mad-magazine style "fold-in" on the back of a certain periodical to find the clue.

At the Triple Rock, we were immediately accosted by a masked woman who forced us to put our hands up against the wall. She kidnapped two of us (I wish it would have been me!) and brought them into the back of a nearby Budget rental van, which drove around the intersection in circles. When our teammates emerged, we learned that Knifeworld was playing inside the van in the pitch dark! They handed N (#7) a child's wooden block with the letter E on it, and said the next clue was at the ATM. Block E downtown, of course!

Well, you just try to casually park down there on a Friday night sometime. This is where the two factions of our team got separated. We were so far behind now that it didn't really matter anyway, so we charged diligently forward. We searched all the ATMs on the outside and found nothing. Then I got a hot tip from a friend on another team: It was inside, near the skyway. Sure enough, the next clue (#8) was a slip of paper with a sentence in which the capital letters formed the words "RAMADA INN," and underneath that was a long math equation, presumably for the room number. The calculator!

N & I waited for R to come around with the car, and then we searched blindly for the Ramada. Eventually we remembered it's over by the Greyhound station. We calculated the room number. The clue workbook instructed to act natural in the hotel because the staff were not aware they were part of a scavenger hunt. In the room we found Erin's boyfriend James (apparently earlier he had been in his undies) and we had to listen to a fucked up song collage which gave the next clue (#9) a parking ramp at 14th and Harmon.

We drove to the top and found a dressed-up garbage can with the intersection of the final destination (#10), which turned out to be... the YWCA! The record release show was, unbelievably, a pool party! Brother and Sister were actually performing electric rock at poolside, with 100 hipsters and punks rocking out in the water! Dude!

The after-party was at Spokes Pizza, where we picked up our 10-inch vinyl and 12-inch pies. Later, R, N, & I went back to their place, smoked knife-hits of fine hash and watched my Deep Purple DVD!

The next day my legs felt supernaturally stiff. Turned out I had the flu, and I didn't go outside for five days.